Old and she’skept waving and eventually I when I wasdone eating I walked over and introducedmyself said hello and she said yeah Iknow who you are and it was funnybecause she had actually hired us tospeak at the the University where shewas working at the University of Montanaand somebody good conversation and andand just started talking and I’ll behonest with you I never anticipatednever planned on having kids in factwhen people asked like do you plan onhaving kids someday Lance was justalways know like right it wasn’t itwasn’t in the cards for me and until itwas and and so since Beck’s and I havebeen in a Top Santa Pineapple Flower Christmas Sweater shirt relationshipchip I have become a parent and a fatherfigure to to Ella and so I have a friendhis name’s Rob Bell and he talks abouthe has three kids he lives on Californiaand a very prolific speaker but he talksabout with his kids all his kids arestill at home so he people often ask himfor parenting advice he has a podcastand he’s a former pastor and he althoughwe don’t have the same sort of spiritualbeliefs or. Isused very loosely here now I have afour wheel drive. I haveto I have to like it’s it’s it’s kind ofreally gives me a lot of anxietythinking about what I know it’s gonnainevitably happen in the next few yearsand I’ll probably hold on to that Steinbut you know at the end of the day it isuseful so the first thing I would say islike dude if this stuff that your dadhas if it is useful in a certain waythen you know throwing away a familyheirloom it’s not gonna bring you joy atall I mean it’s it’s or I should saythrowing away family Andrew doesn’tguarantee that it’s gonna bring you joyso if it’s useful then keep it manpeople all the time like in thedocumentary I don’t if you saw that butpeople they come up to us all the time Imentioned where they’re like hey man Igot this library that I love I love tosmell my books and I love my books outto my my friends and they they read themwe talk about them and I just I can’t beminimalist because of my my life mylibrary books I’m like keep your bookssounds like you get a lot of value outof it so that’s what it comes down toit’s like
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Have to align withthe best version of me I’m not allergicto making money but I am allergic to notbehaving in a Top Santa Pineapple Flower Christmas Sweater shirt way that is congruent withthe person I want to be and so keep thatin mindalign find ways to align your short termactions with your long term values andand of course your kids will mirror thatthey will follow all right finallyMichael asks how can I help my kidsmanage the fact that social status atschool is often tied to materialpossessions alright my short answer onthis one is my tweetable answer is youdon’t have to try to be better thananyone to be a better human beingnow instilling that in your kids isobviously going to be a bit moredifficult so so let’s go back tooutcomes for a minute you want to askyou kids what what outcome are theytrying to achieve here by by materialpossessions by the way let’s put let’sput this out here right awaymaterial possessions aren’t inherentlybad I have clothes on right now I ownmaterial possessions we all need somestuff I amagainst consumption I’m againstcompulsory consumption I’m. In an attic or in a bin in thebasement or stuffed into a closetsomewhere and the same goes with theartwork or anything else if you’reholding on to these things because youthink you’re holding on to memories justknow that the memories aren’t aren’t inthose boxes the memories are in you andif you need some triggers to help youtrigger those memories that are insideyou one of the things I did with mymom’s stuff and things that allsomething I’ll do with some of the Hellostuff from time to time is take apicture of the stuff because thosepictures can trigger those same exactmemories so if I need the thing I needto have access to the thing thattriggered the memory I have access tothe photo and the same goes with artworkor with photographin general I find it much moreempowering to scan those and have thosebacked up in the cloud somewhere becausethink about this you’re holding on toall this artwork right you think you’reyou’re holding on to two old photographsor old paintings old drawings whateveryou’re holding on to and. Way to do that first off is to showsomeone and tell someone how much youappreciate them whether it’s a friend orfamily member you know explain how muchyou do appreciate their sentiment you doappreciate their attention you love themvery much but you know when they havecertain actions for exampleat the holidays when they are making abunch of cookies and giving a bunch ofstocking stuffers that that you feeloverwhelmed when you’re around thingslike that and explain to your familymember how it would really really helpyou and joy the holiday more if youdidn’t have to participate in every andevery single event and and if you and ifyou didn’t get as many gifts or if youweren’t forced to take home as many asmuch food or leftovers or whatever andin that that uh that helps a lot justkind of having that conversation and Iknow I talked about this on the podcastor two ago as well whenever you arehaving conversations like this don’tever use the word you in a negative wayany time you use the word you it’s Ilove you I appreciate
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