Follow on Twitter at a Hot Cats Heart Shaped shirt tell offsandwich she says a lot of hilariousthings but let’s see here so so Becca’sfamily does a sort of white elephantgift exchange at Christmastime and forwhatever reasonBecca decided to opt out and said youknow I’ve already got everything that Ineed but let me optela into this greatgift exchange and and every one of herfamily is like no we everyone wants tobuy Ella a gift this year right becausewe all want to give and and we’ve beentold this is so it’s part of our culturewe’ve been indoctrinated to believe thatgift giving is what it’s a love languageI think that’s like saying Pig Latin isa Romance language the truth is thatgift giving in its most literal sense isnot a love language what we mean bygift giving is a love language we meancontribution is a love language and soquite often we confuse giving a physicalshiny object look I got you this shinything right here this shows you how muchI love you rightno it shouldn’t show you how much I loveyou my daily actions how I how I behaveeveryday. This and I’ve builtup this attachment the sentimentality isattachment via sentimentality to all ofthese these material possessions and Itotally relate to them what I’ll tellyou though and this is a lesson Ilearned early on when right before I wasright as I was bracing minimalismbracing minimalism by the way my mymother died right before I foundminimalismand the first my first foray into toletting go of stuff was letting go ofsome very difficult sentimental itemsand she was down in Saint PetersburgFlorida and I had to go deal with herstuff after she passed away and it wasan incredibly difficult time for me butas I was letting go the stuff I learneda bunch of important lessons I think themost important lesson I learned thoughis about our memories our memoriesaren’t in our things our memories areinside us and I think they always willbe inside us it I think it’s nice thatsometimes the things that we have cantrigger the memories that are inside usbut the memories don’t rest in thosethings so if you keep the kids clothesboxed up. Againstimpulsive consumption I’m againstcompulsive a consumptionI’m not against consumption in fact theweird paradox of minimalism is as aminimalist I get far more value from thethings I own today then if they werewatered down by 300 000 items that Iused to own because I own so much stuffI didn’t know what was actually addingvalue to my life but now I know thateverything I ownserves a purpose in my life where itbrings me joy I truly get value from thethings I own and so asking your kids howdoes this add value to your life andthen what is your outcome if youroutcome is is social status then why dothey want that what’s the why behindthat well the why is because I want tobe liked okay I mean that’s generallythe why behind social status orsignificant significance is a big whyit’s a big why for me for sure Icertainly want to feel significantespecially with the people in my innercircle the people I care about most andso how can I add value to their lives soI do feel significant what’s thepositive way that I can fulfill
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Me and VEXand Ella and you park and you you. Of the segments in ourdocumentary which for those of you justtuning in it’s n a Hot Cats Heart Shaped shirt available on Netflixit’s called minimalism a documentaryabout the important things one of thethings we did was we wanted to showvarious lifestyles in terms of home liferight and so we have folks from the tinyhouse movement which I really admire butI’m not really into tiny house living Idon’t want to live in a tiny home myselfespecially with a family I think wouldbe prohibitive but even if I was bymyself I I would find it more appealingI don’t find it as appealing I enjoyhaving more space not large amounts ofspace but an appropriate amount of spacein fact we interviewed an architect inour documentary his name’s Frankand he kept using this word that justit’s stuck with me and in fact I thinkit is the perfect word of the perfectmetaphor for minimalismhe’s a minimal starchitect he talksabout when he builds a house for someonehe doesn’t ask them do you want a livingroom or do you want a dining room or doyou want three bedrooms or do you. You know like being able tostop and really deliberate whether ornot this 4×4 is going to add more valuethan that you know the 100 I would savea monthit helps me yeah it helped me to choosethe snow tires and said but I guess whatI’m really getting at is is like anytimewe take on a monthly payment that’sgonna fill up mental space so yeahcertainly if we make good decisions withall of our resources you know we’retalking about money right now but youknow even with our time and ourattention I think people forsake thoseas resources because they think it’syeah this infinite we all have time weall have attention but it’s your mostprecious resource when you really thinkabout it yeah so like just being able toask those questions and kind of stopmyself from just acting on that impulseand really getting down to that thatquestion that we always talk about manis thegoing to add value to your life it keepsthat mental space freed up and certainlykeeps me you know more stress free Imean yeah at like the the Ryan Nicodemusof yesteryear would
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